about my mummy....i was lost and upset...i wasnt myself the first two month she died...i couldnt control myself if i see a daugther and mother going shoppin or eating together...holding hand...i didnt had that chance...she had stroke when i was 9..just after a few year my abah died...that is when i can say i have didnt have my parents love since i was 9...i was independent at that tender age...iam not blameing her for that...that is our family fate...she suffer alot...in the 7 year she was having stroke...the pain...how she see me behaving badly as i grew up...she cried alot for me..iam such an asshole who dont give a damn on her tears...and i was fucking rude towards her...i seriously hate myself for doing that to her... and i think i been punish by doing that to her..and i deserve it..about my mummy even she is having that illness she cant talk...she cant move alot... she still show care and love towards me...but i cant see that..she still can forgive her kids even after what we did to her....her heart is like a rare jewel...the love that she gave to us is soooo pirceless...its much more expensive that anything that you can find in this stupid world..
after she left...it was like a slap on my face...i didnt know what i was suppose to do w/o her...
i didnt realise that i needed her sooo much..even at the age of 16 when she died..most of us think that we dont need our parent at that age.. we are so called "mature"we can handle things on our own...but trust me...we are not.we still need them.....many for us thinks that our parents like to pick on us...hate us..dont care about us...nag like there is no tomorrow...but the reason they are doing that is because they love us...that is how they show their love to us..they dont want us to repeat the mistake that we did....make it short for our own good!and for the reader who hate your parent for what they did as what i listed up there....think a million times if you guys still wants to hate them after u guys read this...trust me u guys will miss them nagging at your butt after there are gone...really gone... no such thing as mak angkat or bapak angkat...the love they gave you is not the same as what your bio parent is giving to you......trust me.
so guys cherish them while you can...they will leave you one day...no times to hate.
you guys must be wondering why out of sudden..i post about my mummy..its because i cant stand missing
her i have to let it out somewhere....so here it is.
as for mother's day me sis,bro,syahzani,matin and that old bitch...is gonna visit our dearest mummy's grave...me and sis plan to buy our mummy fav flower rose....as in the stalks la...not the petals..!and i decide to buy the mother's day flower...hmmmm...what is the flower name...i forgot la!!!and also roses...and obviously pray for her so that she is in peace somewhere up there...
love u ami.....
i try to post my mummy pic...to show u guys how fair and flawless she is...and how young she looks... and her real age is much more older then she looks...
i just wish i could have her back...i will do anything...just anything to have her back..but ...i guess it wont happen...i just have to let it go....she is much more happier up there.....
-love-
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