flaws and all

yes...like my flaws is so obvious....iam fat...i look much more ugly when iam taking pictures...seriously...i realise it today..(not really today la..but sometime back....)when was having my photoshoot...i really pity jonathan because i spolit him pic...he really took nice shoots but he pick a wrong model...he pick me!he really wanted to have a high mark...btw this photoshoot was his like so called his exam and also model that he picks is marks counted...and i screw it....bad!i really love taking picture...but my face...body...OMG!after the shoot... jon show the pic to me...i also cried!!i look so bad!!but he keep on sayin no la!!nice!!awsome girl!!i love it!!u have the tyra bank eyes...lip!like omg iam so jealous rite now!!u pose like a pro model!!
-__- yah right.....
i was so fed up with myself...i didnt really gave what jon wants...haiiii....he shouldnt have pick me.....and alot of people actually say iam beuatiful la....sweet la....cute la...(but i agree with cute because alif did say i was cute!!hahaha!!)all that shit la....and if i say i never had a bf before...they will be like... serious!u r a liar la!!kau bedek la!!!tipu tk agak2 la!fuck the what la!!i only speak the truth only the truth and nothing but the truth!!i get nothing if i lie....and if i deny them about sayin me iam beuatiful...they will say i have low self esteem...but trust me ppl....iam not..i noe myself better then u guys....

and ppl say...sometime guys will not go for looks but heart...MY FOOT LA!!no such thing as that this days....now is like... face like megan fox...body like beyonce than u can be mine...i dont care if the "below" is loose.... but if its loose...better...!!that is the REAL world or should i say most of the mindset of guys now days....(omg...sick right!!!)iam not tryna say that all guys are like that but...the good ones are all taken...=(
and iam not sayin all this to have or force any one to be my bf!!!i just wanna let it out!i always felt the heart ache...but never the love...werid right!!but its true......my close friends should know....

but i will not just sit down here...and hoping to change overnight!this is my plan...
1.burn those nasty fats(gym obviously....no pill!)
2.spa(clean off the spot2 on my face)
3.mole remove???i need you guys for this....suggestion please!!yes...no?leave suggestion on my taggy please!!
4.braces
5.do something if the panda eyes!!

so readers if you have any suggestion beside what i listed up there...feel free to leave comment at my taggy.....=)i really need you guys to help me...(not to harsh aites..haha!)i always wanted to look persentable...nice..but dont worry...zahidah will always be zahidah...=)
and obviously iam not doing this to get a bf......fuckin no way i gonna do this for any assholes!!not the time yet....

gtg!

-love-